A Browns’ Fans Guide to Super Bowl 48

Let’s face it, Sunday’s in January suck but the first Sunday in February is the worst. While fans of almost every other team can speak about their Super Bowl experiences, we are left with our “Championships” and our hatred for everything John Elway (more on horse teeth later). So instead of instead of finishing the last six pack of Christmas Ale and getting blackout drunk, here are five reasons to watch Super Bowl 48.

1. It’s Gonna Snow!!!

The forecast is for 20 degrees and some light snow for a football game.  Just watch for the sideline reports about how many people it took to remove the snow and make Peyton Manning warm. Of course, this will be the story of the game. Unless Richard Sherman starts yelling at the snow and telling it to stop talking about him (because that would be awesome).

This will make it interesting for a little while into the pregame-five-hour-long-when-will-this-shit-end show. I better see Al Roker’s smiling happy face on my TV. That needs to happen.

2. Ex-Browns’ Players to Root For

Much like your own ex, you watch from afar and hope they have a nice life. Not too nice, not as nice as yours, but that they do well. Since Phil was knocked out last week (which, let’s face it, we were all rooting for him to make it), that leaves us with…. Kellen Davis??? Ugh. There are really no ex-Browns’ players to root for in this game. Just pick some squares.

3. Players to Root Against

There are no more words needed…..

And I know he isn’t playing, but seriously, I still well up when I see this. I don’t want to see his smug face winning it all as a GM. I would rather drink kerosene.

4. Gambling

For the last couple of years I’ve done those prop bets for the Super Bowl. Like how many times the times the word “thug” will be used in reference to Richard Sherman. Or how many times Eli Manning will be shown on TV (over/under about six, with one “highlight” interception for good measure). It’s a good time and keeps you interested in the game for a little while longer. One year I tried to make into a drinking game. This did not go as planned. Please do not attempt this.


One thought on “A Browns’ Fans Guide to Super Bowl 48

  1. I know exactly how you feel. When Ernest Byner fumbled the ball at the goal line I cried and cried. for 4 days I did nothing but cry. If anyone even mentioned the word browns the tears would flow. That is how much I LOVE this team.


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