5 Stages Of Grief Every Browns Fan Experiences

Having grown up a Browns fan, and now entering middle age as Browns fan, there are just certain things that I’ve become accustomed to.  I used to think everyone else was crazy for how readily they accepted certain facets of this Fandom, but then as time went on, I started to assimilate the same behavior.

1.  No matter how badly the season went/ended, you’ll be excited again by the Draft.

How many seasons have you ended with the same rage as Captain Anger up there?  I can’t think of many since 1999 that I haven’t ended up that frustrated and angry.  But, without fail, every single time we cross in to a new year, I start to gradually get over it.  And then, shortly after the Super Bowl, the media coverage shifts to the upcoming Draft, and I’m in full on hope mode again.  “This will be the year they FINALLY draft the right (insert position, usually a QB)!”.  “We’re just a few pieces away from being a playoff team!”.  “There’s SO much talent in this draft class, we are SURE to make this count!”.  Haha, in dreams.  Because we all know that…

2.  No matter what pick or how many picks the Browns have, they will invariably blow it.

Hey, how are those two guys doing?

Hey, how are those two guys doing?

You know it’s coming.  I don’t even know why I bother to watch the Draft anymore.  Especially if the players we are looking at are position players.  We need a QB?  We’re toast.  A RB?  He’s gonna be a bust, with 100% certainty.  A WR?  His hands will suddenly turn to stone (I’m looking directly at you Gregory Little).  You KNOW they are going to screw the draft up, but up until the very second we hear them call a name like “Brandon Weeden” or “Brady Quinn”, we’re so very excited. We’re so excited we have a hard time not jumping up and down clapping our hands.  Then, the moment comes when you hear a name that you should never have to hear being called by your team, and it’s an instant, indescribable deflating feeling.  They did it again.  But it won’t matter come…

3.  No matter how badly they screwed up the Draft, you’ll be excited again come Training Camp/The Preseason.

Okay, so they blew it again in the Draft.  That’s okay, we still have our guys coming back from last year right?  I mean, sure, they went 4-12, but they easily could have won another 4-5 games.  I mean, if games ended at halftime, we’d be 12-4, so there’s that.  Another year in the system, another year of coaching, and they’ll stop blowing leads and having disastrous quarters, right?  Sure!  And we can clearly see that during camp.  I mean, look how easily they’re catching the ball.  It’s like, I don’t know, they’re NFL wide receivers or something.  And man, that running back is smashing those scout team defense guys.  Haha, this is our year.  What?  We lost every preseason game?  That doesn’t matter, it’s just preseason, they just don’t want to give away all their secrets.  We all know coaches watch film, and we don’t want to tip our hat too soon. So that’s why…

4.  No matter how badly they looked in Preseason, you’ll be frothing at the mouth excited when the season starts.

Oh my God.  Oh. My. God.  FOOTBALL IS BACK.  I’ve been waiting so long.  And it’s a new year.  No, hell no, it’s OUR year.  THIS is the year the Browns get it right!  We’re finally going to shut everyone up who’s talked bad about our team for all these years.  Oh, looks like we lost that first game.  Hey, that’ll happen, I mean, it’s only one game right?  Ah.  They lost another one.  Okay, well, there’s still plenty of time to turn this ship around.  Except that…

5.  It’s going to end the same way that it did last year, isn’t it?

Yes.  Yes it is.  God this sucks.  If they just fired the coach, got Cowher or Gruden or someone like Jim Tressel, THEN we’d have the kind of leader we need.  And, we’ve got this next draft coming up, and there are definitely some good quarterbacks/running backs/wide receivers in it.  I mean, we’ve got some time with the playoffs and the Super Bowl coming up, we’ll have time to really scout these guys and get it together.  And hey, most of our good players are coming back, so you know….

Start back at one.

Shawn is an Army Sergeant, husband, dad and lead writer/publisher for Dawg Pound Nation. You can follow him on Twitter @ShawnMStarr or @DawgPounded.


2 thoughts on “5 Stages Of Grief Every Browns Fan Experiences

  1. The draft is exciting, for sure. But you just never know who will be worth anything. Who would’ve though McCoy would bust? (Was All time winningest qb in college) Or R. Mirer? (Broke several records at N.D. set by J. Montana) T-Rich, anyone? (He was gonna be IT!) Or pick the best O-lineman, only to have him go down w/ a torn something, after the 1st snap of the preseason. Or get someone Brady like, in the what, 6th? I’d wish for health, and an AWESOME strength and conditioning coach. Good article! Gets my mind racing! 🙂 🙂 🙂


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